3 simple steps to Defeat the fear of disapproval

The most vulnerable place I have ever found myself in is where I speak my truth and risk being disapproved of. Does that resonate with you? 

Disapproval is a sharp trigger-point for me. I have a tangible need to satiate my self-worth and sense of belonging in other people's opinions. It never works, and always leaves me wanting. The cause of this is clear: I have not been giving myself the approval I wish for and desire. 

 

1. APPROVE OF YOURSELF FIRST

It is up to us as individuals to love ourselves, to approve of ourselves, and to reflect on our wins and losses. If we can not love ourselves, we can not expect other people to fill that void. It is unquenchable.

 

2. REFLECT ON YOUR WINS AND LOSSES  

Brené Brown is one of my biggest heroes - she is rocking my world right now. In her book Rising Strong, she talks about how living with "no regrets" means living a life without reflection. If you do not know where you have been - how then can you move forward? Get curious about trigger points - and find common connections.

 

3. OPEN YOURSELF TO POSSIBILITIES

Starting this Authentically project is a vulnerable place for both Courtney and I - as we dare to share our stories and our thoughts in a public way. Sharing with each other in the safe warm places of our living rooms with a glass of wine or a white chocolate mocha is one thing - sharing it in public is another. What we are excited about, however, is the possibility of seeing you set free. There are so many possibilities for where these stories will lead. The pull to start this - and to be open to where it leads and the potential for impacting lives - is greater than the fear of disapproval. 

 

Fear of disapproval is an ugly beast. 

Fear of disapproval can hold you back in so many ways and hide your innate inner beauty. It is easy to say "don't be controlled by other people's" opinions, but it is much, much harder to live. When you take the time to honour yourself, to love yourself, and to approve of yourself, all the rest has less weight. May today be your day to taste life for yourself - free from disapproval. Be kind to yourself, and cherish your uniqueness.

Heather Murphy

Authentically: Business & Life Solutions, Regina, SK

Heather Murphy is a business consultant with expertise in digital marketing. Heather owns Authentically: Business & Life Solutions, making an impact with inbound marketing, graphic design, and social media marketing. As an educator, Heather frequently shares at conferences and seminars to empower people for building the successful businesses they invision. Heather is a member of the Forbes Coaches Council.